The best leaders operate from a position of strength and trust. The worst leaders operate from a position of fear and doubt. Take stock in where you are on the spectrum and work to build a solid position of strength and trust. It’s important. Others are counting on you to do this well. No pressure.
People who operate from a position of strength view life from a certainty, confidence, and trust perspective.
- I am certain/confident/trust my decisions are grounded in my best evaluation of this situation, at this moment in time.
- I am certain/confident/trust that I will overcome any adverse consequences resulting from this event.
- I am certain/confident/trust that I will overcome any overcome any adverse consequences resulting from my actions or inactions.
Power, stability, courage, health, energy, tenacity, clout, pivot, persistence, and resilience are words that resonate with a strength-based individual.
Their internal monologue is: I am important; I am happy; I trust myself: I like myself; I have no regrets; I like taking risks; I like to feel emotions; I like change; It is interesting when I don’t know the outcome; I can easily project authentic confidence; I don’t fear things/events that I cannot control; I can control my response to events; I understand I cannot control the actions of others or their responses; I am able to peacefully sit with my thoughts; I have energy; I feel good.
People who operate from a position of fear view life from a jeopardy/doubt perspective.
- How will the consequences of this decision hurt me? I fear this decision may hurt me.
- How will the consequences of this event hurt me? I fear I may not be able to overcome any adverse consequences resulting from this event.
- How will my actions or inactions hurt me? I fear that any action I take may hurt me so I will do nothing rather than something.
Exposure, hazard, risk, vulnerability, liability, insecurity, overwhelmed, malaise, shame, guilt, peril, and danger are words that resonate with a fear-based individual.
Their internal monologue is: I am afraid; I am not happy; I don’t trust myself; I don’t trust others; I do not like myself; I do not like taking risks; I do not like to feel emotions; I do not like change; I do not like not knowing the outcome; Although I project confidence, at times it is not authentic; I fear things/events that I cannot control; At times, it is difficult to control my response to events; I feel more comfortable trying to control the actions of others and/or their responses to events; I find it difficult to peacefully sit with my thoughts; At times, I don’t have seem to have the energy others appear to have; More times than I would like, I don’t feel good.
So, the question becomes: How do you transform a fear-based individual into a strength-based individual?
Overcome Fears And Move Out Of Your Comfort Zone. Start small and build up. Your strength, confidence and trust in yourself will increase as you overcome each challenge. This grounded, powerful feeling will extend throughout each aspect of your life (personal and professional).
Prioritized Yourself, Satisfy Your Wants And Needs. Create a personal and professional list of what you need and want. Write it down, say it out loud, post it on the wall, and actively calendar time to attend to your personal and professional wants and needs. Priorities are calendared, not an afterthought or something to fit in between meeting, if there is time. Look forward to addressing your calendar. Embrace that you have achieved a status that allows you the ability and means to do so. Show yourself you are making something a priority by setting and sticking to a date and provide it ample time.
This means there will be times when you will have to say, “I have a conflict.” Important people have conflicts, big and small, that are important to them. Don’t pretend this step, you will only be short changing yourself.
First, focus on attending to these wants and needs. Next, focus on feeling that attending to these wants and needs will have a positive impact on all aspects of your life. Finally, transform feeling “guilty” about prioritizing yourself to feeling “good and grateful” that you can and should prioritize yourself.
Make Decisions Without Ruminating. Reflecting (one or two dips back into the decision making pond) on a decision is healthy. Learn to address your core reason for ruminating – decision made without all the information (what prevented you from having all/more information), decision make with undue influence from another person (how can you balance this dynamic), decision made in an area you don’t believe you possess expertise (should you be making this decision, do you need an advisor), decision made too quickly (what factors prevented you from slowing process down), decision made for political reasons (is this a political reason for your benefit, company, leaders), etc. Remember, “if it can be solved, there’s no need to worry, and if it can’t be solved, worry is of no use.” Dalai Lama.
Focus On Feeling. You are stronger than you think you are. Just do it.
By making yourself a priority, you will project more strength, increase your confidence level, and elevate your status (in your mind and others), which results in a more grounded, balanced, healthier and happier approach to your personal and professional life. Soon you will find that you have an ability to say and do things that would have been difficult or impossible to do or say before because you are operating as an important, whole (not splintered) human being. Next level is hard work and you won’t benefit from pretending it.